Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Story of Us

Memorable quote from "The Story of Us"

 "There are some hurts that you never completely gotten over. And you think that time will diminish their presence and to a degree it does, but it still hurts because well, hurt hurts"


Had a chance to watch this film two nights ago and I'm quite pleased with its plot. It is a 1999 film and just like most of the movies in the 90s, The Story of Us tackles relationship, separation and dealing with couple's differences. 

I am not really into this kind of film, I hate being lectured with separation and divorce issues, we have so much on it in the surroundings, and I disliked couples who don't honor their marriage vows, and that is something I never look forward to in a film. I loathed couples who are infidel, who betray each other through extra marital affairs, that's why I extremely detested films that tell the story of a mistress!

But The Story of Us is quite different and for unknown reasons, I kept rewinding each scene. It was really beautiful, though some reviews did not actually exhibit the same fascination.

The Story of Us tells the crumbing marriage of once very in-love couple and officemates, Ben (Bruce Willis) and Katie (Michelle Pfeiffer). They have been married for 15 years but after having two kids and a comfortable life, they grew apart and could no longer stand with each other. A slight provocation would result to shouting matches, there were no talks  without engaging into a heated argument, they seemed could not agree with everything. 

Until they agreed into a trial separation. During this time, the couple pondered hard on the fate of their marriage, remembering the good times they shared and the things that made them fall in love with each other in the first place.

While watching the film and reassessing the couple's relationship, I made to think quickly that the reason why they drifted apart is their inability to handle the pressure and tension of married life. If only they would open their minds, value each partner's worth and listen while the other is talking, then a slight argument would never result to a yelling episode.

In the end, Ben and Katie realized how much they loved each other and why they could not live another day without being together.

I've never been into a relationship nor a date but I am completely aware that loving someone entails sacrifices and suffering, after all, that's what unconditional love is all about, the moment you decide to love someone it's also the time that you start taking your cross. 

Many years ago, I bought a book entitled "Loving Each Other" authored by adult counselling expert, Dr. Leo Buscaglia, which offers one of the best meanings of a loving relationship:

“A loving relationship is one in which both parties feel so loved, so accepted and so safe that they can share their innermost feelings, dreams, failures and successes without reservation. It is a give-and-take, two-way reciprocal interaction rooted in mutual respect and trust cloaked with dignity, where tears and smiles are of equal importance and one that continually nurtures and supports growth,

….It is like an ideal home which you can totally be yourself, be accepted, understood, supported, valued and respected as a human being. It is a nurturing environment where effort is made to provide enough caring and security so that one can share hopes and fears without anxiety and discomfort and where one is encouraged to learn and grow.”

The Story of Us is a provoking film about relationship which every couple (married or engaged) must watch and understand. It's a very simple story but carries tremendous lessons about married life or simply dealing with each other in a relationship.

The lessons I'd learned from this film: 
  • Learn to bend
  • Maintain communication
  • Be open-minded
  • Recognize that argument is imminent but do not allow it to grow into a destructive monster.
  • Recognize your partner's value
  • Listen when she or he talks, do not interrupt.
  • Do not let pride dominates the relationship
  • When time gets rough, stop for a while and think hundred of reasons why you stick with her or him through all these years.
  • Settle the differences before night time comes.

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