Bushed up lately.
Though I understand the magnitude of the routine that everything is just temporary. And in the next couple of months things will be back to normal, my human side, nonetheless, is yielding to pressure.
God knows I need a diversion and longing for some privacy. Even just within my thoughts. To get rid off the stress. And I need enough space to breathe, to discern things, to think about life, and to rest my tired mind and body, to find my balance.
Sometimes, I longed to be alone. My very introvert nature hates noises, and being surrounded with a large crowd is really a great challenge. So much so that I'm seeking privacy every now and then. However, this is terribly impossible as I am always surrounded with people in the workplace. So for a time, silence is all I needed to get through the day. Even within my thoughts.
Yes, everyone needs SILENCE. We could never hear ourselves speaking clearly if we are always noisy. And we could never discern effectively if we are always talking, if we are always loud. So, we need SILENCE. A quiet environment is necessary to think things clearly.
But irritation occurs when people in my surrounding take notice on my silence. They misinterpret it as misbehavior. They thought I am morose, angry towards someone or pissed off with my work or having tantrums. They thought I needed to be calmed down to bring back the zest in me. So some of them will endlessly pester me why I am silent, why I seem not talking. Which triggered my angst and annoyance. These people perhaps never understand the essence of silence and the value of private moments deep within.
We all need space and privacy, even how busy we are in the workplace. Often times, we are processing some personal issues towards life's complexities and how things should run in our lives. So silence is what we needed. And I hope people must understand that. And give it to us and respect this personal choice of privacy.
So I am screaming now to give me some moments of silence, for some privacy in my thoughts and allow me to keep quiet while working and never disturb me or ask me why I am quiet or why I remain silent. I just need SILENCE and some private moments within my thoughts.
Anxiety is slowly consuming what is left for my faltering energy and I need enough silence to recharge, and to invigorate my worn-out system. So Please, give me some moments of silence and stop asking me why I am quiet at times.
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