Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Broke

There’s nothing wrong in my surrounding. The universe did not turn upside down. The horizon stood still. But no matter where I dart my attention, everything seems not okay, and each passing day is really a real struggle. I know it’s not about the world I lived but all about myself. My confidence, my impatience, my views about life and my angst towards a very judgmental and unfair society.

Life had pushed me to my limit, in a state where nothing to grab except desolation. It feels as if I am badly cursed and destined to live miserably. No one wants to take me in, no one wants to know me better. Everyone misjudged me. Everyone is rejecting me. I lost my vibrant appetite in life and want to hide from everyone. I want to empty my mind from analyzing things hoping that one day everything would change, everything would be different.

I am not experiencing a quarter life crisis but deep inside, my system is rambling and I felt all my dreams are slowly disintegrating. I've wasted years of my life chasing contentment and stability but each time I give my full determination to make things happen something bad is bound to happen and I tossed back again to square one.  What's with all these wretches? Why I cannot simply get what I want? As if my life is cursed and there's someone or something is trying to pull me down.

I am tired absorbing all these torments and distress. Time is slipping away and I cannot afford further delays.

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