Saturday, September 27, 2014

Letter to my Future Husband 

Where in the heck of the universe are you hiding? Why there seems to be an endless quest of meeting you? 


True love waits…and it’s always worth the wait…and so they say! D
o you believe on that? Well, I do because I have no choice but to continue believing that true love really exists somewhere beyond the blue horizon.

Oh! That futuristic “the one”. Just how long this waiting period would really end?  When will circumstances and destiny conspire and allow my path and that of my future husband to collide?

You know, I’ve never been into any relationship before, not even a date! I don’t know how it happened but I just wake up one day and it’s already 2014 haha!

While girls at my age changed boyfriends as fast as they changed profile pictures in their FB account, I am yet to discover how it would feel like being on a first date where you have to lock stares with someone and listen to your heartbeat and wait for the whole universe to explode because that someone takes your breath away.

Sounds absurd isn’t it? But maybe I belonged to the long-forgotten generation of women who seems destined to meet their future husband only on the wedding day (sigh!).

It’s a hell long story and the road to the future might be as bleak as the possibility of trekking Mount Everest, but I am willing to wait, stretch the fiber of my patience a little longer and forget those sinister thoughts of sailing into the sunset of my life-alone. Heaven forbids!  

It might take a lifetime to wait for that ultra-elusive “the one”, but I know it’s worth the wait and I believe God prepares someone wonderful for me.

Once I wrote a poetic letter to my soul mate (haha!) to hopefully speed up his journey from wherever he is right now, whether he is stuck somewhere in the North Pole or stranded in the South Pacific Sea, I am wishing that letter has finally reach his hiding place.

But months had passed and the road of meeting that mysterious soul mate is still obscure as the story of the existence of aliens.
Oh God! Why it takes so long for that special someone to cross my path? Why there’s so much delay? Where did all those prospects go? Why they did not dash towards me? But then again, I have no reason to complain as everything happens according to God’s will, and I believe that His time is always perfect.

After that letter to my soul mate I guess it’s time to make a follow up to make my pleading a little more intense and edgy and because wasting time is no longer a humorous idea for someone like me who is on the verge of losing patience, I will proceed writing a letter to my future husband to make it clear that I am no longer amused with all these disruptions and delays. 

Maybe destiny will finally listen this time and give me a priority ticket ^___^

I am not losing hope, I know someone is just somewhere and someday in God’s time, he will find me.

Dear future husband,

I know there are countless reasons why God allowed me to wait because there’s you, somewhere and just waiting for God’s signal to proceed with your journey and reach me in the intersection of life. I am willing to wait even if it will take forever because I don't want anybody else other than you! 

I wish you are tall so that I can tiptoe and reach your neck, feel your breathing and caress your ears. I always imagine a fulfilling life with you, with kids to nurture and a family to take care, exchanging beautiful stories that unfold in a day, sharing dreams that might never happen.

With you I can hear beautiful melodies, soft as the afternoon breeze in a cool windy road and warm as the bright morning sunshine. With you I am not afraid to face the world, to face my fears and overcome my shortcomings.

Thinking of you makes me chuckle and turn my world so beautiful and inspiring.

I know you are the other side of me, as if seeing myself in a mirror, I know we shared the same interests, the same passion because that’s what true love is all about.

I would just imagine how beautiful life it should be with you, maybe we could laugh at the corniest and weirdest stories we would heard somewhere. I am very grateful I did not settle with somebody else before and wait for you instead.

I cannot wait the day to finally meet you, pat your back towards the end of a tiring day.  I am looking forward to be with you on an adventure, go somewhere, spend precious moments walking on a beach, wait for the sunset to come, sit by the shoreline and listen to the tender splashing of the waves.  That precious day where I could face my fears that even climbing a mountain or taking on a zip line scares me to death I don’t have to worry because you’re there and I am confident you will hold me.

But until then, until that beautiful moment, I will patiently wait.

Eternally Yours,

Me, the other side of you ^___^ (Oh God please listen to my prayers this time)

Friday, September 26, 2014

It Sucks!

Have you ever had that moment in a week where everything is a little bit disappointing and a little bit noisy that you just prefer to escape elsewhere and cool down?

There are really moments where I felt my self-esteem is slowly disintegrating no matter how I assured myself that everything is normal in the environment. At times, I hate all those cretins because of the treatment where I should suppose to function like an on-call heavy utility service, where every bloody request must be accommodated without balking. Oh God, it sucks!
It made me to contemplate harder what I am really up to. Why I am here? Is everything rotating according to my goals? Would I continue to allow all those jerks to just stomp me and treat me like a machine? Or it’s time to reassess my life’s purpose and reconsider other options?

I’ve come a long way in my journey. I’ve been working for the past 10 years, started at the basement, made a little way up, learned lots of things along the way, got my professional career service eligibility, did freelance writing job, became a professional blogger, obtained a master’s degree, published books, and all those emotional maturity stuff everyone could think about growing gracefully.
But oh goodness why it seems I went back to the basic? Why I am relegated to an entry-level-sort of thing? The final humiliation came when I mounded with tasks that are seemed far way below the line. Do I project an image where I deserved only at carrying bags from the grocery and carting drinks? No, I am not bitter I am only wondering why there seems to be an unclear definition of delineating functions.
True enough, none is perfect, every environment has plus and minus, every organization has flaws and strengths and your decision to stay on the boat and continue the journey depends on how you have map your path and define your goals in life. At the end of the day it’s still your personal life that at stake and not theirs. What matters is your own views of quality life and fulfillment, it cannot be trade-in; it comes from deep within and can only be felt if everything is moving towards the same direction. 

Anyway, I am very clear with my life's plans and directions. A year ago, I should suppose to work full time online as SEO writer but had to turn it down because I want to experience what it feels like working in the real world, in a global company, but had no plan to make it a lifetime career. Soon, I would really find my niche in this world and concentrate in my passion.

Monday, September 22, 2014

I want to cherish each moment




Have you ever experience weirdness stuff in a day? Like missing something you used to do or missing someone you never see in years or never seen before? :-P

Oh yeah, sometimes this surreal moment strikes in my horizon in the most unexpected time, like when taking a break from work in a day or at night when I am about to sleep.

Touching down the sentimental lane and pondering...

When was the last time I discover things and travel? It's been months and my days so dull and boring.There are lots of things that I really missed so much and people too....

I love traveling, I love exploring other places, I love discovering new things, but lately I could not find enough time to indulge on this passion. Every weekend, I am too stuck with my book writing. I want to finish the three scripts I left hanging for years.

I missed the countryside feel, the lush tropical plants, the cool shade of nature, the soft breeze, the quiet environment and good food. How I wish I could go back to Bag of Beans in Tagaytay to loosen up and relax and feel the stillness of the mother earth.

I love to experiment recipes, I love to cook, but due to my busy weekends in writing, I don’t have enough time to do this. I am stuck whole weekends in front of my laptop and no time to get busy in the kitchen, someday I want to get back to my hobby of cooking.

Oh, this beautiful moment! I want to think and think about wonderful moments. Talking and giggling with someone.

I love talking, I love telling stories and I love connecting with the people whom I have common interest. It rarely happens. And I want to cherish each moment.


Sunday, September 21, 2014

Whacked Again...


I'm here again, in my little sanctuary, absorbing dreary thoughts of dejection and the creepy anticipation of the future and what's-coming-ahead in-betweens. Days seem moving too slow and nights are rolling so fast. Sequences of daily life events seem dreary and overcast and I hate being confronted with all these clutters. 

Maybe I am exhausted with everything and my system is too crammed with useless forebodings to think of valuable and happy ideas. I am tired thinking and tired analyzing why things always fall on the wrong side of the spectrum. Am I cursed?

My mind is too consumed with torment, preoccupied with failure and rejection, annoyed why I am still stuck in this desolate journey. There are concerns that seem would never go out of my system ,my dreams still left unrealized and my effort seems did not pay off.

I am whacked again with self-defeating thoughts.

Why I always feel inadequate? Why I always feel as if my life is a big joke. Why nobody wants me? Why it seems no one interested to take me in? Why I am forever wedged in isolation? Am I a nuisance? Do I bring trouble to the people I relate with? And all those self-defeating thoughts I wish would never appear again.

Maybe I need a break; maybe I need a breather and chill elsewhere, and forget all the apprehensions that are pestering in my system right now. Maybe I should free my mind from anguish and detach my thoughts on things that are unfeasible.

And think about great things in life and care about my aspirations and reconstruct my goals. The best advantage of being single is that I can always go back to the basic, if things go wrong, I can still rearrange my plans, figure out what’s best for me, what needs to be done and start all over again.

Tomorrow will be another day, another moment to savor hope, another chance to build dreams, another period to enjoy life because it is a gift itself, worthy to cherish even if it does not rotate the way I always wanted it to be.


Sunday, September 14, 2014

Travel Bucketlist

Finally!! My quiz trivia book is ready to be sent for publication. Yeheeey! 

But I will read first carefully the submission guidelines of Amazon because it's kinda complicated and the technical aspects of those trimming, bleeding and sizing the manuscripts seem  difficult to grasp so I am giving myself one day to comprehend everything.

Then I would be continue working for another manuscript, The Royal Madness, which I intended to submit as an e-book. I am targeting to finish it before October ends.

And yes, after completing my goal of publishing at least two books this year, I'll begin my journey of traveling all through out Luzon haha!

I've been featuring holiday destinations in Europe and America in my TRAVEL ADVENTURE site but I just realized this now, I never write something about "It's more fun in the Philippines! Nahhh! 

So I will start exploring neighboring provinces in the weeks to write something wonderful about traveling in the Philippines!

Travel Bucketlist Around Luzon

  • Albay
  • Batangas
  • Bulacan
  • Camarines Sur
  • Ilocos Region
  • Laguna Lakes
  • La Union
  • Pampanga
  • Subic
  • Zambales

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Discover. Explore. Learn

Yes, indeed, discovery is everywhere!


I will just finish my books and after this, I will really embark into a grand countryside adventure! Well, as what Bianca Gonzales had mentioned in her blog, discovery is everywhere! And we won't learn things until we explore and discover something new, and traveling is one way of discovering and learning something new.

It's been my greatest dream to really spend my single life in traveling but until now it remains a hazy dream as I don't have enough budget to finance this ambitious goal, oh heaven! When will I expand my saving bucket so that I can accomplish this long-standing wish? 

I LOVE TO TRAVEL!!! 

And I want to explore the world and share what I got through my travel site. I want to write something beautiful about the world as I see it. Despite political tensions, economic turmoil and wars and dangers in the surroundings, I still believe this universe is a wonderful place to live in. I believe this world has so much to offer when it comes to peace and beauty and I want to see it by myself.

I really envy those people who are courageous enough to leave their lucrative job and go elsewhere to discover things. I want to have that kind of courage too. I want that distinct courage where I don't have to think about despair, failure and disappointment, where I don't have to think what will happen to my future if I will go on adventure and travel.

I hate being stuck in my current situation. It feels like I am in a prison cell and wondering what my torturer would do next. I felt happiness has totally gone. I felt that beautiful moment I am always waiting is still in a far distant year. I felt that my life would be totally wasted if I would stick to where I am now because it's bare, totally a blank space.

Sometimes I would sit alone near the window and look around and think about where I should be walking, but oftentimes scare would register in my mind that grabbing a chance to explore the world, leave my job and be a full time blogger are simply dreams.

Friday, September 12, 2014

I need a breather!


It's another weekend!

Here I am again, polishing and editing my quiz book, hope I can finish everything today. I am currently reading the submission manual of Amazon publication and oh God! It's quite complicated! haha! The technicalities of submitting the book looks like too much for my literary-inclined brain.

I am extremely tired of everything and I hope this book submission could fill the weariness I felt deep inside. In the coming weekends, hope to really go into another adventure with my friend, Rowie Tagaan, to a place where I could really relax and feel the stillness of the mother earth. I need a breather, so perhaps, a quick sojourn to the countryside is a perfect escape.

I want to breath fresh air, I want to relax under the cool shade of nature. I want peace and serenity. I want to see verdant trees and be surrounded with tropical plants, beautiful blooms, meadows, valleys and see the wonderful horizon up high. 

Life in the city is really toxic and the daily routine already overwhelmed by system that towards the end of the day, I felt my body is yielding into pressure.

I need a breather indeed!

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Waiting, endlessly Waiting


It's almost 1:30 in the morning and I am still wide awake. Waiting for something to pop up, waiting for something to creep, waiting and endlessly waiting for something that's not been there in the first place. 

But anticipating a beautiful outcome seems to be more fascinating than the idea of succumbing into despair, so, now I am whisking my mind away from negative thoughts and continue waiting, savoring some degree of hope that time and destiny will finally conspire to make things happen.

I know God listens to every prayer, I believe He has a better plan for everyone and I know His time is always perfect, so I won't give up, I'll  wait for that sweet moment to strike in my horizon.

I know everything will happen in a right time under a right circumstance, all I need to do is hope and wait and stretch my patience a little longer.

I know that day will still come.


Friday, September 5, 2014

Relaxing Weekend


Beautiful Saturday morning! 

The bright rays of the sun gleam at the lively green leaves of the Atis fruit in the backyard of the house I lived. What a wonderful sight to behold! Despite political tensions, crimes and wars, this world is truly a fascinating place to live.

It's been a while since writing a post about my weekend because I hate expressing my rants of disappointment, but today, I felt the urge to write about my weekend. Oh, well, nothing extraordinary anyway, I just want to describe the beauty of the environment and the mixed feelings I felt at the moment.

Monday, September 1 - Oh God! I started the week with a sick leave, I was not really feeling well since Thursday, August 28 and I just endured the discomfort because my friend, Kathy Dacanay, will be coming over and we already agreed to spend the night of August 30 at her hotel room in Makati and stroll around the city the next day. 

Tuesday, September 2 - Still not okay but I reported to work because of so many tasks to deliver. Still morose with the episode the other week but I managed to be nice because there's nothing I can do at the moment. I am very grateful with my friend, Joanne Lopez, because she always makes me laugh despite of everything ^___^

Wednesday, September 3 - Spending lunch with Jo! Haha, I love this episode when we would talk silly things in life, contemplating for the possibility of something which I find somewhat vague, I don't know, I will just lift it to God.

Thursday, September 4 - My mind seems tousled with thoughts of the future, so many confusions, so many concerns, so many hesitations and worries. I thought once is enough, but it's there and circumstances push me to face the hurdle again. I am hoping I would never pass the  same dilapidated road of dejection I experienced before. I uttered hearty prayers to Jesus and to St. John Paul II to rest my mind and whisk it away from any wrong assumptions.

Friday, September 5 - At last it's the last day of the week! I went home straight to Caloocan after work and arrived quite very late because of traffic, at 10:30 PM. So exhausted! After playing with Kittens I went to sleep.

Saturday, September 6 - Oh yes, that's now. I am sitting beside the window of the house and watching the beautiful environment as leaves dance up on the trees, caress by a morning breeze, sun is bright again and peace and stillness shroud the surrounding. I love weekend because I have plenty of time to think about what I am going to do with my life. Today, I am determined to finish my quiz book so that I can submit it to Amazon and concentrate polishing another non-fiction book I intended to submit as an e-book, The European Royals.

My weekend sounds quiet and peaceful ^____^

I Love MAKI!

When it comes to food, I am not choosy, I eat everything what's being offered, However, just like the rest of the people in the world, I do have favorites. One of these is MAKI. Oh I am insatiable when Maki is in the table, I could not just be contented with a single bite, I am looking for more!

(Left) A different version of California Maki
 (Right) Tekka Maki at Haru Sushi Bar and Restaurant

Maki Invasion at Sushi Dito Davao ^___^

One time I spent lunch at City Buffet in SM Fairview with former University colleagues who came to Manila for their seminar, I saw almost every variety of Maki there and I did not pick anything except Maki! 

(Left) California Maki at Rai Rai Ken. (Right) Kani Maki at Sushi Dito Davao

There's something in this Japanese food that I really find satisfying, maybe because I love rice and my day is incomplete without consuming rice, and Maki is made of rice, so it makes sense hehe!

Original Japanese Maki at Pearl Farm Davao
California Maki at Tokyo Tokyo - Tagaytay