Saturday, August 2, 2014

Pressure, Pressure!!!




The most difficult part of being a woman in this morbid present society, is when you hit the dreaded age where everyone is expected you to settle down and have kids. People began to pounce you on the "biological clock" issue as if a woman's only role in this world is just to breed and nothing else.

But in what stage in a woman's life really this biological clock will chime its final warning toll? There are women I know who got pregnant for the first time beyond 42 with no medical condition concerns while there are girls who never conceive even though they got married at the age of 25 or 30.

The saddest part of this pressure is it pushes many women to venture into sad relationships, miserable marriages and abusive men.

Luckily for me, I've read tons of self-developmental books long before the people in my circle began badgering me about marrying, so I am no longer affected. But it's a bloody hell trying to absorb the annoying pressure and my only diplomatic response is to shrug my shoulder.

Marriage is an institution and family is a fundamental unit in the society, thus, should not be viewed on the wrong concept. It is a lifetime commitment that must be entered only when a man and a woman are both emotionally, mentally and spiritually prepared and not because the biological clock is already ticking fast.

But what is really the psychological reason behind this pressure? One sure answer is --- cultural. Our tradition dictates  that people should live based on a certain pattern of our culture and everyone is expected to follow this pattern --- attend school, find a job, get married and have kids --- and if someone is not following, people began to wonder why, they thought that someone is some sort of a drifter or a lost soul for not obeying this societal process.

Are we nuts of trying to time warp ourselves back to 1920s or 1940s where marrying straight from high school was the norm? Is it the main concern of the modern life? How about preparedness? Or meeting a right person?

I've been thinking hard about my fate lately, it's not that I am slowly yielding to the pressure but I just could not help but think if there's really someone meant for me.

This is ridiculous to think but seriously I've never been into relationships not even in the past. I was so careful with my journey that I never tried even once. While girls my age changed boyfriends as fast as they changed their trousers or had settled with the man of their dreams, I'm yet to go for my first date.

Crazy to think but my life just revolved around the workplace, going to the church and home plus a frequent trip to the kitchen, unfortunately, there's no opportunity to meet guys between the living room and the kitchen.

In college, I made a decision what others thought was absolute madness --- no boys, no suitors, no dates - until I finished school. Then and only then I would think about romantic involvement. But when I got a job, I developed another stubborn principle --- no boys until 28. Well, with no apparent reason. It was just maybe my excuse because I did not find someone who caught my fancy haha!

Until months rolled into years and many more years, until finding "the one" became an eternal quest. Oh heaven! Is there still someone left for me? Would he still come? Can I still settle down? Where's my SOULMATE God? Can you show him to me before weariness and frustrations eat my whole system?

I prayed intensely though. Regularly and wholeheartedly. That circumstances and time will conspire to allow my destiny to collide with that elusive "the one".

Despite all these vague possibilities, I am very confident God will reveal His masterplan in due time. Because as we know, God sets His own time for everything, including marriage.

As the famous phrase would have it "TRUE LOVE IS WORTH THE WAIT". I hope so :-D
The following verses in the Holy Bible explain the value of waiting very clearly....

Ecclesiastes 3:1-15

"Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses... 



"2He sets the time for birth and the time for death, the time for planting and the time for pulling up...
"3Thetime for killing and the time for healing, the time for tearing down and the time for building...
"4 He sets the time for sorrow and the time for joy, the time for mourning and the time for dancing...
"5 the time for making love and the time for not making love, the time for kissing and the time for not kissing...
"6 He sets the time for finding and the time for losing, the time for saving and the time for throwing away...
"7 the time for tearing and the time for mending, the time for silence and the time for talk...
"8 He sets the time for love and the time for hate, the time for war and the time for peace...
"9 What do we gain from all our work? 
"10 I know the heavy burdens that God has laid on us...
"11 He has set the right time for everything. He has given us a desire to know the future, but never gives us the satisfaction of fully understanding what he does...
"12 So I realized that all we can do is be happy and do the best we can while we are still alive...
"13 All of us should eat and drink and enjoy what we have worked for. It is God's gift...
"14 I know that everything God does will last forever. You can't add anything to it or take anything away from it. And one thing God does is to make us stand in awe of him...
"15 Whatever happens or can happen has already happened before. God makes the same thing happen again and again.

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