Saturday, July 19, 2014

Storm in my Tea Cup

Literally, a tropical storm hammered Metro Manila last Wednesday, July 16, beginning at early dawn and it was awful, destructive and run havoc to the environment. 

I was just lying in bed the whole morning, rolling my eyes to the ceiling of the bedroom I shared with three boardmates, listening to the raucous shrieking of the winds and enduring the terrible hunger pangs I felt.

While the rest of the people in the neighborhood seemed like in great panic, I was in deep thoughts, unconcerned whether the world will crumble into pieces. My mind tousled with so many qualms as if I was about to be punished for some terrible mistakes I never realized I committed.

The tropical storm receded but not the storm in my tea cup. The little tempest I was trying to ignore grew into a monstrous blizzard. Harsh and ruthless. Should I listen to my intuition? Is my intuitive nature got it right? Or just over-analysing something. But instinct is louder than logic. The trouble with being too pleasant is that you'll be slightly judged and dismissed as nervy and worst, be misinterpreted in a different context.

But there's nothing we can do how people react and how they mirror us. Sometimes they just gauge us on first impression as if it is the totality of our personality. It's quite sad because it hampers an opportunity to know each other better. Mostly, the golden discovery lies somewhere along the way while the process of knowing is slowly taking place. But sometimes this is never achieve due to wrong impressions. And the road to discovery dies even before it picks up.

We all have storm moments at some point. And it often comes without warnings. Moment by moment, events and circumstances push us to the end of the wall and force us to believe that life can be so unfair sometimes. 

The week started so good, or so I thought. But what seemed like a bright, beautiful week ended up in despair. The clear hint of distaste bounced up. The road to tribulations is beckoning so it's better to stop at the intersection to avoid a disastrous journey. It pains me to realize that I could never fit in no matter how I tried to be amusing and courteous, I always ended up being thrown out. Maybe it's time to go back to myself and just be contented with living alone.


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