Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Fierce Episode


A fiercely horrifying conversation that was blown out of a proportion. I never thought I would experience such humiliating encounter again and hear those vilifying and disparaging attack I already suffered more than three years ago.

It happened all because of misinterpreting  the real context of the conversation. But it's too useless to press my point. It's useless especially if you won't be heard fairly, because all they do is allow anger to reign.  So I just lift it to God. I maintained my position on the issue, I did not slander their community. What I was expressing was my honest observation that "that" preacher seemed like "tiptoeing" into the other side of the ministry. It's not a remote possibility because most preachers now are creating their own group or community and established their own style of evangelical mission.

These preachers insisted they are Catholics but what confuses me is their actuations. Why creating a group when there are parishes ready to accommodate worshippers? If your intention is not to confuse believers, you must abide with the programs of the diocese. It's okay to preach of course but be sure the activities are under the turf of the diocese. There are plenty of spiritual programs that each parish offers. Example Family Groupings, Family Life Apostolate, GKK where you can have all the opportunity to preach, to share the good news of the gospel in the community, to conduct a bible study.

But a potential trouble emerges when these Catholic preachers start to create their own group, having their own worship place because aside from luring believers to a different environment, it opens a dangerous possibility of creating a different interpretation of the Catholic practices.

The celebration of the Holy Mass of the Catholic Church is always solemn, the sacred ritual never changes since the Roman times, it highlights the sacrifices of Jesus while conducting His ministry on earth. Archbishop Romulo Vales said there's no need to sing and dance and shout praises because the exposition of the Eucharist (a part of the mass before and after the singing Holy, Holy Lord) is the most precious act of commemorating Jesus and it is the highest form of prayer.

So when groups began to create a different style outside the framework of this sacred ritual they are directly opposing and contradicting what the church instituted.  They are already creating their own style away from the traditional approaches which made them appear like Born Again Christians which are no longer Catholics and this is where my discomfort rooted.

Everytime I am invited to join a certain spiritual group, I always make some observation and assessment if it still  aligns with the practices and principles of my faith to avoid confusing my self where to put my loyalty and what practices to follow. There's nothing wrong with being a non-Catholic it's true but my point is, if I will look on the other backyard it seems I am not confident with my faith, it seems I did not understand the core of my religion and not satisfied with its message of salvation. It's a total betrayal.

And this is where the whole conversation pointed out  which seemed did not set well to the other party. I was only expressing what I'd observed in their community. I did not personally attack their group. When you established your own group it seemed like you are convincing believers to detach from the church, it could be very confusing to their part as loyalty will now be put into question.

So why fire vicious attack right away without even assessing the situation and comprehending the content of the conversation? It's a clear sign that he himself did not know how to defend the community and how to give an enlightenment what their ministry is all about. 

Religion is not something we should window shop, as if we are looking what's the best item on sale and what's glamorous, it's a vocation that we must embrace and fully understand, we are part of the mission, so we should never allow ourselves to be easily duped by the charm of other groups. Modern interpretation of the catholic doctrine is  something that never encourage by the universal church.

So why they will get angry when I just expressed what I'd observed? When I said it was not already what the universal church preaches? Rage and anger are not traits that a spiritual leader should tolerate. If you want to take up the mission you should know how to handle tension and throw back an argument, you should be prepared with the criticism because it's part of the package, you must know how to mellow your impatient character.

Well, that's the real truth, they are misleading Catholics in the real sense of the word, they are the fundamentalists dreaded by the Vatican, if not then why they have to set up their own worship place when there's a parish church to go to every Sunday. Their set up is more like a Born Again group which is no longer a Catholic church by practice. Encouraging to share a tight? It's totally crap, a big deception, the universal church never encourage it, because that's part of the old testament and the church is breathing a life on the new testament.

The idea that their leader never got a cent from that online brokerage is a total hypocrisy. I am not ignorant with the way online stock trading is conducted. All online stock brokers can gain from the investment of each trader, when the trading would not go on well and the trader losses a cent it would go directly to the broker's account. There are fees to be collected in the transaction and large part of it will go to the brokers. And why online stock brokers are rampant now? It's because it entails big money, big profit. That online brokerage they promoted among its members is not a work of a saint either.

When I said it signifies a conflict of interest, I am telling the truth. When you serve the church your intention is purely to preach the gospel and evangelized the people so why you will mix it with business in the first place and why you busy yourself promoting your entity? And it's too blatant with all the splendour of convincing members to take part of it, how will you assess it?

The Holy Father even declared he wanted a poor, more austere church without brushes of extravagance and splendour of worldly goods. And those who want to serve, those who want to assume the responsibilities of becoming preachers are expected to follow suits.

The trouble with people is the way they impulsively react on issues without assessing the whole situation first, as if they never know how to defend. They keep their eyes shut to the shuddering truth that they are being deceived and yet they don't detect it because they are blinded with the saintly facade of those deceivers.

Deceivers remain undetected if your mind is too focused on its beautiful surface. They are gifted with a unique charisma in speech and interpersonal skills so people are easily convinced.

I am not saying that the Roman Catholic church is perfect, it's a vulnerable church fighting controversies committed by emotionally weak authorities, but what I am defending is its doctrinal values and principles.

All Roman Pontiffs rejected the modern interpretation of the doctrines urging believers to stick with the traditional approaches because that's what the ministry of Jesus is all about. Roman Pontiffs are very liberal on social issues but they want the doctrines to remain as they are. But these fundamentalists confused Catholic believers by luring them to another dimension of faith.

This is what I was trying to explain but it was not heard constructively, it was interpreted as a slander to their community and judged me as a repulsive individual, accusing me with things I never assumed to myself: self-righteous, conceited, repulsive, and all those demeaning personal attack, even in my wildest dream I never put it in my head to show to the world that I am self-righteous. He was the one who put it to myself who labelled me and to aggravate the issue and look for sympathizers, posted the grievances in a social networking site. Is it logical?

A social networking site is not a confession booth where you have to unload your emotional baggage and anger. It's like washing dirty linen in public which is very unethical. I resented people who treated social networking sites as their repository of troubles and complains, it's totally immature because it appears you are hopelessly seeking attention. why not confess your burden and grievances to God or to a priest? God knows what's happening around, even if you won't splash it to the world, He will know it.

The encounter made me vomit in disgust. Well, I am a stubborn, strong-willed person and far from being pious and for all the years I existed in this world, I never pretended to be somebody else, I never assume any fake identity, I am always honest and true to myself even if it costs me a hell of trouble. I am always transparent. I never hide under somebody's skirt.

I am always polite and courteous but when it comes to my religion, I can blow up a mountain defending it. I know what I am doing and I want to defend the core of my faith up to my last breath. I am proud of my faith it's the only thing I cling to when times get rough, it always rescued me from tribulations. It greatly defined my existence and I never put that into question. I have no issue with myself, not sure with theirs.

If you want to become a spiritual leader in the community that promotes peace, fairness, humility and justice then you should know how to refine your words, understand the context of the conversation and know where to put your best foot forward, defend your sector politely without resorting into insolence and anger. That's how a good leader should act. The essence of leadership is influencing others through good traits. You must always do the right things and not what is right.

I can forgive but the episode will ever hardly forgotten. The pain I felt and the personal attack I received helped me realized why God did not allow things to take its course and why He did not grant one thing I kept praying for the past years.

Someday I know I would be vindicated just like what happened three years ago.

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