For the past months, years, decades perhaps, I made to believe myself I am a great failure, that I am worthless. The inspirational messages I heard and read about "valuing oneself" and "believing in your worth" just did not sink in my mind. It felt like I was bound to fail. So I hesitated doing things that might highlight failure.
This self-defeating concept gradually molded my perception about myself that eventually defined my journey. I was too scared to move away from my comfort zone, too terrified to try on many things which hampered my personal growth in the long run.
This negative definition about myself intensified when I suffered one dreadful rejection episode in my life. It sank my self-confidence and deepened my belief that I am not good on anything. It became a wound that badly damaged my self-esteem.
But time heals all wounds, so they say. And for all those times that I was agonizing in pain over a failed "dream" I'd come to realize that the concept I created for myself is the one that pushes me to the ditch and no one shoves me to fell there.
I've learned lessons anyway and became increasingly aware that the definition of my self-worth depends on how I view life in general and not based on the concept created by other people. Eventually I become more mature emotionally and become very realistic with life.
Now, I want to focus more on cultivating my potentials and in what matters for the future. I don't want to dwell so much on pain and misery and all that "failure" comprises. I don't want to think obsessively about attracting praises and acceptance. I just want to live my life as it is.