I am terribly enraged right now that no amount of words can describe the degree of anger and hatred I felt, and no amount of repent can pacify my incensed spirit, what makes it worst is that there are people in the environment who are equally ignorant, very insensitive enough to conspire with that idiot, morbid idea! God forbids but I want to drag their faces on the wall and slit their throats!
I was never humiliated in my whole life. I felt the humiliation terribly disgusting that I blurted words that cannot be swallowed by any animal in this planet.
Well, man, here's one thing I can say straight to your disgusting and dreadful face, you are insane and what you are thinking is simply a chillingly morbid idea only boorish person can take. What you need is an antidote of your fantasy. I was not raised by my parents to become the butt of jokes with stupidity from ill-breed people.
This is a great lesson to me -- never ever give your politeness to every person you get acquainted with, not all of them are worthy to be respected. You never know what kind of animal they are.
But I grew up living alone and maneuvering my life independently, so I must learn to fight my own battle and making sure no one would ever disrespect and humiliate me again. No one!