Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Christmas Memories

Start of the Advent season and excited to attend the early dawn mass once again. Christmas is the happiest time of my life because it reminded me of my happy childhood in the province, by just thinking Christmas, my mind tossed back again to the magical period of my innocence and I love it because it helps me escape from the torment of life. 

Christmas celebration is more wonderful in the province, plenty of native foods, life is so simple and relax and lots of laughter in the neighborhood. But my favourite part is the endless invitation of relatives and old friends to come to their houses and eat and eat, hahaha!

I had the best Christmas celebrations when I was still in grade school. After the Christmas eve mass which often celebrated by my father (our parish priest would only conduct Christmas eve mass in the town proper but not in barangays), I and my cousin would roam around our place and did carolling and we would divide the native foods we received and sat beside the seashore at early dawn waiting for the sunrise to great the mother earth.

Hmmm..sweet Christmas memories!I missed those years...

My only wish for this Christmas is to attain genuine peace and happiness from deep within. I don't want to be sad anymore, I don't want to create another circle of enemies, I had enough of it this year and I want to see my life follows a different pattern by the year 2012. Hope the succeeding year will be a happy and prosperous one for me.

Sometimes I would think in the middle of the night why I was so grumpy, somber and easily flared up this year, hmmm..maybe my ruling planet, Mars, is so dominant in the year of the metal rabbit, you see...Mars in Roman mythology is the god of war ^___^

I really want to make peace to everyone. I want to leave the hurts and bad memories of 2011 behind. Next year, is another struggle, another hope, another milestone. I want to change direction and goal and hope I can make it. I am also very excited because I will be finishing my graduate studies finally, thank God! How time flew so fast, it seems like yesterday that I took a qualifying exam for MBA at Ateneo.

Okay, here's the cliche....recently, I had this recurring dream. 

Last night, this dream resurfaced. A dream that made me wondered why it felt as though the event made a different leap. It was beautiful of course, but it was just a dream and the message was somewhat confusing. The mere thought of it made me bounced up, what was it? Two weeks ago, I dreamed a related event, very similar and I am wondering why it keeps repeating. 


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Myself

I held my privacy very precious but here, I want to share something about my life, about my true self.

I love PINK! It's the color of beauty, romance and innocence..but it's not exclusive haha! There are some occasions that I choose other shades like purple, lavender and aqua green. 

I am afraid to die in bullets, sword, car accident or being raped. I often pray for a quiet death, it's not morbid because everyone will have to die, so it's inevitable, and no one can escape, death is a nice word because it reminds us that we don't last forever.

I dreamed to travel to Europe, I am fascinated with its history and glorious past. I want to write about ancient castles and monarchy and traveling there to do an actual research is a great help. I want to see the romantic countryside of Italy in Tuscany, the spectacular beaches around Greece and Cornwall in England and St. Kilda in Scotland and marveled at the breathtaking scenery of nature at Bavaria in Germany and Klosters in Switzerland. Now, this is what I call Daydreaming hehehe and I often indulge on it many times in a week to inspire me to work hard.

I prefer self-developmental and biographical books. I adored books! I am fascinated with biography genre because it talks about real life stories of great people, their success, failure, happiness, accomplishment, triumph and misfortune, provide great lessons and inspirations that can be looked up to. For movies, I prefer horror, adventure and classic films. 

I never gone out for a date ever since. I am very cautious, I don't want to commit a terrible mistake, being in a relationship is something I want to take seriously. I don't want to count many boys in my life before settling down it is so undignified. One past is enough. Right now, I have no past hehehe! But since I am on the brink of approaching spinsterhood haha!I cannot afford to do a trial and error process anymore, as long as I am comfortable with him and everything goes smoothly and the guy has a stable income to support a family then maybe that's it.

I cut off on softdrinks and coffee these stuff are not healthy. High concentration of caffeine normally found in softdrinks, coffee and energy drinks blocks Folate in the body. Folate is a B-vitamin group that aids proper brain development of a baby and prevents birth defects. it's not true that coffee is loaded with antioxidants. Polyphenols---antioxidants substance normally found in plants---are easily stripped when plants are brewed and processed, since coffee undergone milling, polyphenols are not retained.  

For ten years now, I am minimizing my meat consumption especially Pork. I am following a Mediterranean Diet --- more on Olive Oil, EFA, Wheat Bread, Cereals and Fish and low in sugar, cream, meat.

I hate Pizza and Burger. I am more on salads, pastries and pasta. Fettuccine Carbonara, Brazo de Mercedes and Blueberry cheesecake are some of my favourites. I don't eat chocolate much because sweets make my head swirl terribly.

I don't like disco and bar houses. I find it very outrageous and nasty. I prefer watching movies, walk on a beach and long conversation.

For three months now, I minimized carbohydrates intake at night, so my dinner consists of oatmeal, cornflakes, milk and fruits. If I will be working on numerous articles, I would choose Green Tea with Honey to sustain my energy until the wee hours.


I love cooking, when someday I have my own house, I want to make the kitchen very cozy and lovely because I will be spending more time there. I already collected different recipes to experiment on.


I am not used to having a house helper, I grew up very independent doing household chores and balancing my budget. I like doing things in my own way. I often go to the wet market to shop, it's a lot cheaper than in the malls.


I am a homebody, I prefer staying at home than going outside. I love the serenity and peacefulness provided by home. I don't like hanging out with friends.


I love writing. It's my way of relieving stress and tension. I am more at peace and happy if I can write. 

I love to travel. It's a great escape. I prefer it than hanging out with friends in the bar. There's something in traveling I find very fulfilling, maybe the discoveries and serenity that the environment provide, very relaxing and invigorating to the senses!

I am a poet by sentiment. Because I like discovering things and often ask questions about existence, about something that fascinates my curiosity. I love to write and go to scenic places.

I prefer wedges than pointed heels. It relaxes my feet muscles. It's more comfortable to wear.

I dreamed to marry! I am still hoping I could get married. I want to have children, I enjoyed being with them. I want a very simple ceremony, then have an Afternoon Tea Break at the reception. I hate a sit-down reception in hotel or fancy restaurant. I don't want a grand wedding, I just want a simple, very exclusive gathering of closest friends and family with lots of laughter and relaxation. I prefer a Springtime wedding theme and Cherry Blossoms motif.


I want someone who can sing, joke!! Hehe...I want someone who understands the real me and who can accept me despite my shortcomings. Someone whom I am comfortable sharing my views in life and my innermost thoughts.

I am fascinated with the idea of a finishing school. If I have my children, I don't want to send them to a pre-school, I don't believe in the education system here it's a bit lacking in character refinement. Finishing school is very famous in Europe, some of the best can be found in Switzerland. Most daughters of royalty and aristocrats in Europe had gone to a finishing school. It focuses on manners and etiquette and how to grow up sensibly.


I want to grow old in the countryside. I want to spend my retirement in peace and serenity. I want to build a rest house in a farm with a terrific botanical garden. Countryside has fresh air and old people needs it at their prime age to prevent health complications.

Taking a long road trip has been my long time fascination, it's my idea of fun and adventure. Hoping someone would take me to Camarines Sur, Batangas, Laguna, Vigan, La Union, anywhere in the country. But it might be too impossible because I am residing currently in Davao and I've no plan to relocate in Manila at the moment hehe!But who knows it will happen in the years to come. 

I am obsessed with Blogging because it's the only hang-out where I can be myself, where I can freely express my deepest thoughts and longings, my fears, sadness and happiness. It frees my system from boredom, stress and anxiety. It's a perfect sanctuary for my tired mind.


I wish to marry and have kids hehe! Yeah, it's still included in my list of life's goal. I am still hoping that somewhere in this world, there's still someone who's ready to take me in.

I dreamed to build a small house with a beautiful landscape. It's my childhood obsession to have my own house far away from the city with a relaxing garden of lush tropical plants and flowers.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Never too late to begin

This morning I read one article about ...well...."Nothing lasts forever", such a great sharing from one blogger and felt what she had gone through..she ended the article with something like ".... so don't be too caught up with the past, just look forward to the future"....

One day, things will change....everything will just be a hazy shadow of the past..but we must undergo a terrible sojourn of despair first before seeing what life has to offer on the other side of the road...after all...we cannot see a beautiful rainbow without passing a terrible rain..

Someday, everything makes sense....just got to make the best of the situations, sometimes because of our effort to hold on tight, we've got to lose the things we are trying hard to save. But that's life...and we must learn how to conform with the reality....

For so long, I've been keeping myself welded in one corner that I never realized time is slipping so fast. I was so cautious with my decisions and actions that I did not attempt to explore things that might put me in uncompromising situations.

I'd lived a very simple lifestyle. I had a very limited circle of friends, I refused to join people with liberated lifestyle, I find it very offensive to see women drink alcoholic beverages and smoke in public, I felt it's a bit undignified.

I don't like boys who smoke, who have tattoo, who wear earrings, who lack determination and drive and who are infidel.  Boys with body piercing is a major turn off. I felt they are self-destructive and insecure.

By the time I was ready to take risks, circumstances cheated and deprived me to have those longings realized.

I belonged to an old generation of dreamers who have been literally poisoned by fairytales that Prince Charming will just land in the backyard like a shooting star, but as time goes by I realized dreaming is not all about waiting. 

When I was still a teenager, I've so many plans, I want to get married and have four kids and raised a family in a quiet environment. I want to own a farm and build a simple house with lots of glass windows. I want a simple wedding ceremony exclusive to closest family and friends, I don't like a grand celebration. But years on, my dreams remained a dream :-D

I know it's not too late and I am willing to start from the basement. Anyway there's no such thing as too late, we can start at any point. Just be patient and trust everything to God.

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Famous Wars

The Battle of Britain book sent to me by Sir Earl Doriman, former engineering faculty who now lived with his family in Manchester, England. Thank you sir Earl!

Towards the end of my high school years, I thought of taking up International Studies (IS) in college because I wanted to study the history and culture of other nations/continents, well particularly Europe, but it was not materialized because none of the universities in Mindanao offered IS back in the 90s, so I settled with a business course.

But my longing to study other culture grew everyday, so when I entered college, whenever I had a vacant hour, I would go to the library and read books about Europe, the continent's glorious past, the wars, the monarchy and everything about the royalty's amusing lifestyle. Later, this fascination became a habit.

Okay, so lately, despite tons of case assignments and class reports in the graduate school (where I currently enrolled 12 units), I still have enough time to read books and news about Europe, well I cannot simply put off the habit I grew up for the past decades of my life :-D

WARS

I am greatly fascinated with royalty and wars I don't know why, hehehe. I read the complicated history of the Hundred Years of War and War of the Roses. Hundred Years of War lasted 116 years and despite its very long and intricate background, I had read it extensively, primarily because the monarchy was involved. It was a war fought only by two countries: England and France, and was initiated by English King, Edward III, and did not effectively close until the reign of King Henry VI of England. War of the Roses was a civil war in England and was ignited because of the succession dispute between the two warring cousins--York and Lancaster-- following the deposition of King Richard II.

I also read several books about World War I and World War II. Though Cold War, Crimean War, Carlist Wars and Thirty Years War stories are equally interesting, I only read few details about it. The first Word War interests me most, because Europe during these period was mostly ruled by monarchs. The conclusion of World War I also marked the end of the supremacy of the Great Powers. The once imperial houses of Germany, Russia and Austria-Hungary eventually defeated, dismantled and ceased to exist and the European map was largely redrawn.

The birth of the Second World War, many historians claimed, was largely attributed to the Treaty of Versailles which brought Germany to the negotiating table during World War I. World War II was the most horrible. Launching crimes of any kind, if you were a man during that period unfit to live based on Hitler's definition of prosperity then you were only worth of a bullet or a labor exhaustion and worst, a sojourn to a gas chamber. Hitler enjoyed the height of his career during this period contemplating diabolic act. He was largely demoralized when his Operation Sea Lion (a military operation he devised to invade Great Britain), was never carried out. 

In my own point of view, Operation Sea Lion and Schlieffen Plan (a military strategy implemented by German armed forces during World War I to allow Germany to fight in a two-front war with an assurance of victory), were almost the same in nature, both were carefully planned but were never successful.

Now, recently, I read about the death (due to colon cancer) of Lana Peters formerly known as Svetlana Stalin, the only daughter of another terrible political leader, Joseph Stalin of Russia, the one who initiated the creation of the Soviet Union forging Cold War with the United States in later years. My interest to dig more about European history and culture and the background of wars ignited again. In her past interviews, Lana Peters repeatedly said that she was uncomfortable and disagreed with her father's extremely dreadful political policies that she left Russia and moved to the United States. She also described her father as a simple but rude and cruel, paranoid man. 

And my most surprising discovery came from one reader who commented that Joseph Stalin indeed pushed one of his two sons to death. Lana's brother, Jacob, was captured by the Nazi during World War II and put to a concentration camp in Germany, Stalin did nothing to get his son back, he refused to negotiate with Hitler and the Nazi generals and let his son die in the concentration camp. What a brutal man!


Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Love Triangle of the Century

This is a worn-out story and already gone with the way of the apes, but because it reminded me of something being "argued" recently, I decided to bring it up here again for the sake of telling a controversial history, the world-famous issue of Prince Charles' adultery with his former flame, Camilla Parker-Bowles, which had been the caused of misery of the late Princess of Wales.

Everybody knows this royal scandal and "that" period was one of the most trying times of the British monarchy which many of the Queen's subjects began reassessing their positions if they really need a monarchy after all. Prince Charles was painted badly in the public as a repulsive, dithering, incompetent and irresponsible King-in-waiting because of his adultery and the media even called for his graceful "exit" in the line of succession. 

For others who are not familiar with this scandal. Here is what happened.

Prince Charles had met Camilla Shand in 1971 and started a brief relationship, because of her commoner background, the possibility of making her a future Queen Consort was simply unthinkable. They separated eventually. Camilla married Andrew Parker-Bowles in 1973. Charles remained single. But unknown to the public, the two continued seeing each other. 

Fast forward 1980. Because he was an heir to the highest throne on Earth, the Prince of Wales, whether he like it or not, and whatever his preferences are, should marry and provide the throne with heirs to ensure the continuation of the House of Windsor. His position in life guaranteed him no freedom to choose just any woman, she should come from a suitable, aristocratic background, no previous relationships, pretty, socially inexperience and most of all, a virgin to rightfully produce royal children (a commoner with no aristocratic background was never considered a suitable bride of a future British King before the 21st century). It did not take long for Prince Charles to look for an ideal candidate.

Lady Diana Spencer, then 19 years old, lived and raised within the upper-class system of Britain, her grandparents were very close to the British royal family, in fact because of this closeness, Diana's parents were granted permission to live in the luxurious, ten-bedroom apartment called Parkhouse for free, this classy royal home is located inside the Queen's private estate in Northamptonshire, Sandringham.

Diana was beautiful, an aristocrat whose father, a wealthy British nobleman named John Spencer, who would become the 8th Earl of Althorp, was a direct descendant of King Charles II of England and owned a large estate called Althorp in Northamptonshire, England. Diana's mother, the Honourable Frances Burke-Roche, was also a daughter of a British nobleman named Edmund Burke-Roche, the 4th Baron Fermoy. Diana was socially inexperience and most of all, a virgin. She was pronounced as the most suitable candidate to become a future Queen Consort of England.

But few years after the wedding of the century, Diana slowly found out that her husband secretly resumed his relationship to Camilla Parker Bowles, whom he pronounced as the only woman he ever love. But the true love of his life, unfortunately, was very much married. Immorality issue, scandal and the succeeding twists of events, put Camilla's reputation and image into someone who had been condemned to die in public. She was badly ridiculed, humiliated, mocked and bitterly judged as a home-wrecker and was dismissively called as Charles's "weather-bitten mistress" who smell like a horse, Diana called her a rottweiler and famously said, "a woman who sucked into our marriage and refused to go". 

The Princess of Wales, who won the sympathy of the public during her turbulent period within the royal family, was portrayed as a "saint" while her husband was considered an insecure, fickle-minded and irresolute man. The popularity of Prince Charles continued to sink and even with the presence of  the influential publicity machines of the palace, the future King's image was a public disaster. His father, Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, who did not want a royal divorce, called his son "irresponsible whose brain had been sucked dry".

Well, we all know what happened many years later and the rest is history....

Okay, analyzing this "tragic" love story, I could not help but think what really love means? Based on what  happened, love can be described here as a very selfish love, a futile emotion and badly depicted as something that people overtly abused and misused when the very purpose of it is to provide harmony and respect. If the circumstances did not cooperate for them to end up together, there are lots of reasons why God did not allow it to happen and therefore must not tolerate the feelings anymore, it will never bring good to both parties. In fact, God does not want everyone to suffer all the time because of it. Therefore, Love itself is a responsibility.

If only Prince Charles used a true Christian principle that love is not an emotional duty but a gift from God, maybe modern British history might have been very different. The Prince of Wales was very famous with his controversial line he uttered during the announcement of his engagement to Lady Diana Spencer in February 1981 "Whatever love means".

But how can we really gauge true love? Is it enough to say that it never ceases in our heart? An emotion that could not gotten over? Does it really remains longer? Or are we just pretending to believe it's still there because we just wanted to relish the idea of being in love, but in love for what? For imagination? Is it a mind trap? Or just an idea of longing for something we failed to realize, coated with a different form of regret and  guilt and the concept of what-ifs and might-have been, hoping to correct the mistakes.

It would be very ridiculous to continue wishing for time to do a form of magic and turn back the clock and rewrite our destiny or nourish some hope that we could still reconnect the past in the future. Sometimes the very meaning of it mislead us, often, people think the other way around and assumed a different identity of the feeling associated with it. Click here to read related story

Prince Charles unfortunately, did not live the good example set by his father, Prince Philip, in treating a wife with respect despite the absence of feeling the "real love"(click related story here) well, whatever love means.

Here are hints how to distinguish True Love from infatuation or the idea of just falling in love with love according to the book "I Love You" by Gordon Martinborough.

"True Love is not controlled by feelings. It does not do anything and everything it feels. If Infatuation is ruled by feelings, in True Love, the feelings are under the control of principle."

"Infatuation is in a hurry, like a spark of lightning but a spark easily fades and ceases, it never last because the feeling is very temporary and conditional, so as long as the spark is still there, the feeling survive but when it dies down, everything fades too. But True Love takes time, it slowly develops like tender, precious plants, it takes long to notice its blossoming buds because knowing a person always takes time, there's no short cut and growing a relationship takes time and God expects couples in love to grow up (Ephesians 4:15), a spark is temporary, it easily fades and ceases, "

"Infatuation is obsessed with externals and the fashion and is intoxicated with sex appeal while True Love is concerned with internals and compatibility."

""Infatuation considers only the "labels" of the partner. True Love let the two people know each other well, and see beyond misgivings and shortcomings, providing attention, supporting and expressing concern to each other's well-being."

"Infatuation is a human pit while True Love is a divine ladder." Read related story



Thursday, November 17, 2011

Princess Consort

"I prefer to be known as Princess consort when Charles ascend the throne"--Camilla Parker Bowles

Okay fine....and that's the most appropriate title she would get anyway. Everybody knows how she had caused the breakdown of the marriage of Charles and Diana. I really don't know what the Prince of Wales saw in her (Camilla) in the first place, but any way, Camilla has share of humiliation from the public and suffered so much already, so let us give her peace by this time.

Recently, she is very vocal in saying that she never wanted to be called a Queen when her husband ascend the British throne someday in respect to the memory of Diana, Princess of Wales. Technically, Camilla should take the title of Princess of Wales because she is the wife of the Prince of Wales but because the title has strong association to Diana she preferred not to instead chose the title Duchess of Cornwall in 2005 upon her marriage to Charles. The Prince of Wales second title is Duke of Cornwall. When the couple are staying in Scotland they are known there as the Duke and Duchess of Rothesay.

It takes years before Charles can ascend the throne because his mother is still in a very good shape and no illness was reported in her behalf, who knows she would inherit the energy her late mother (the Queen Mother) possessed who died at a ripe age of 101. It will take decade before Camilla could assume the title of Princess Consort.

No spouse of a British King took a title of a Princess Consort, Camilla, if ever Prince Charles would outlive his mother, will be the first to hold the title. The princess consort title however is commonly used in many muslim constitutional monarchy countries. For example in Jordan and Morocco, if the reigning King would not declare his wife as a Queen in public, the wife would be known only as Princess consort, say for example Princess Lalla Salma, the wife of King Mohammad VI of Morocco and Princess Muna of Jordan, the second wife King Hussein of Jordan and the mother of the current Jordanian King, Abdullah II.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Story of Dead Star

One of the most memorable stories I encountered in my Literature subject back in college was DEAD STAR, written by Paz Marquez Benitez. It was a good story of coming to terms with destiny.

It narrates a story of passion and love felt by Alfredo Salazar towards Julia Salas. To make it short, they did not end up together. Salazar married another woman, Esperanza. Julia, on the other hand, moved to another town. 

For the past eight years after Salazar got married, he seemed never gotten over Julia, his feeling remained, he was still nurturing some hope that he would see her again or be with her once again. One day he went on a business trip to Julia's town, then visited her at her house and experimentally held her hands to find out if the intensity of his love still exist. But he was surprised to find out that everything was no longer there anymore. That what he felt was only the product of his illusion and not real.

Dead Star is used by the author to symbolize a dream for something that no longer existed in reality. Like a state of feeling we kept for so long which seems like an emotion glowing from a far, we thought it still flickers, that it is still real, but beyond its gleaming feature, what we did not see is the crack beneath its surface, that what remains now is only the shadow not the star itself. 

It is something of an illusion only which our subconscious refused to accept. Just like Alfredo Salazar, Julia was his star, his true love and always thought she was the perfect one for him, he became a slave of a lost luster, a failed dream, a dismantled hope and a futile idea of changing the course of life to rewrite a love story that actually no longer there.

Emotions are mere products of what we feed in our subconscious, other people can even manipulate it because it is very dependent with what we feed. But sometimes emotion is misleading often deceives us, believing something out of the ordinary, the what-ifs and all the might-have-been stuff as reality that it was all genuine, perfect and "should be" the right thing to do, but these are mere reflections of our fantasy and of some regret or form of guilt that we cannot get over because we are imprisoned with the false belief that we can still correct it and recapture the blurring past, interpreting everything as the only genuine feeling we ever had. 

That thing no longer exist but refused to be recognized by the one who possessed it because it is coated with guilt and regrets. But life did not end with the things we lost, if we believe that way then we never consider the person we lost as a human being but merely an object that we should possess any time.

Emotions cannot be replicated, yes it's true, but emotions are like body cells, it would eventually die down to be renewed and replenished with something invigorating, more radiant and glowing providing more benefits and new routine. That's life cycle.

We never existed to live and continue living with "what ifs", we must go on and accept the fact that there are things in life that are not meant to be, if somewhere along the way, we cannot get what we wanted, there maybe hundreds of reasons why it did not happen and these reasons are always for our own good. It is simply ridiculous to keep wishing and hoping to turn back the clock of time to correct those mistakes and remake our destinies, chances are, we become prisoners of failed dreams.

Prisoners that are impossible to get out from the cage they personally built, because they refused to. But life in the cage is not what God designed for us. He wanted every human being to be happy, to experience the goodness of life that He created. Nobody has the right to hamper the future, life never ended in one unfortunate event, it should not be interpreted as something an only person capable of influencing, it is simply absurd.

Why can't we just accept the fact that those things happened because of reasons that only God knows,  something that would never bring good to us, because if it is for our own good and advantage then God will allow us to achieve it, to get it. 

Just read the message why God did not allow two persons to end up together and not the idea of the might-have-been. God only knows what's best for us. There are still plenty of beautiful things to happen that would never come had the separation never took place.

Life did not end with traces of yesterday, nobody owns us....therefore must continue building dreams because our life did not belong to someone else, we are individually made by God and we are capable of recognizing the beauty of life apart from the people around us. Unless there are other "reasons" we secretly kept that compel us not to follow the conventional road of life.

After pondering hardly with my fate and the intense discussion that took place, I finally stop asking God why and why there are things in life that I could never get. I've decided to move on with my life for good. I want to look on the other side of the road, I know lots of beautiful things await there.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Tongue-Twisting European Foods

Oh sweet life!

I am always fascinated with European dishes not because of its distinct and unique taste but because of  its incomprehensible, tongue-twisting names, I am enthralled with the very complicated pronounciation (lol!). I wonder how the Pot au feu, Coq auvin and kouign amann would be accepted with my very oriental stomach .

Well, just this morning, while searching for some ideas online with necessary information about putting up a party essential e-business, I came across with this delectable site of David Lebovits on living a sweet life in Paris (France) where he revealed so many tips on how to create scrumptious desserts, coolers and other yummy recipes, naaks!my hunger pangs suddenly strike and heaven! what's with those tongue-curling names of desserts?

First, I read about his entry how to make ice cream gelato, a specialty from Italy, then I browsed his articles about savory dishes and mouth-watering desserts, haaaay, oh so yummy!

Sweet cheese fondue, Tabbouleh, Prosciutto rolls, Caramelized Shallot, Gougeres, Rosy Pouched quince and so on. Heaven!what are these foods?How do they taste?Anyway, I saw the pictures and uhmmm, looked quite good and delicious, I wanna try it hehe.

Yesterday, I tried researching other recipes for desserts too until I landed in a site which featured the complete recipe of Chocolate Biscuit Cake served at the wedding of Prince William, hmmm, want to try it this December. 

Meanwhile, I savored the moment of daydreaming while reading the articles of David Lebovitz, so nice and appetizing ^____^

Boun Apetito!

And here is a very entertaining article I read in READER'S DIGEST about how complicated a European mode of dining is: 

The story goes:

"My wife and I went out to a dinner the other week and I swear I didn't understand a single thing described by the waiter. In fancy restaurants, European style, the waiter takes you through the evening's specials with a floridity and panache that are seldom less than breathtaking and always incomprehensible. 

"Tonight", the waiter began with enthusiasm, "We have a crepe galette of sea chortle and kelp in a rich mal de mer sauce, seasoned with disheveled herbs grown in our herbarium. This is baked in an inverted Prussian helmet for 17 minutes and four seconds then layered with steamed wattle and woozle leaves, we also offer a double rack of Rio Rocho cutlets baked in a clay oven....

And so it goes. My wife, who is more sophisticated than I am, is not fazed by the pretentious terminology. Her problem is trying to keep straight with the bewilderment of options.

"Is it the squib that's pan-seared and presented on a bed of organic spoletto?", she asked

"No, that's the baked donkling", replied the waiter. "The squib comes as a quarter-cut hank, very lightly rolled in paya-paya tossed with calamine and presented on a bed of chaffed beans and snooze noodles".

I don't know why she bothers to ask, because apart from being much too complicated to take in, none of the dishes sound like anything you would want to eat anyway, except maybe on a bit after drinking too much. 

As the waiter kept bombarding us with his ecstatic descriptions of roulades, ratatouilles, confits, phyllos and God knows what else, I am on the verge of losing my patience.

Just bring me anything that's been clubbed, I wanted to say, of course I held my tongue. Eventually, he concluded his presentation with what sounded like "an oven-baked futilite of pumpkin rind and kumquats.

"It's feuillete", my wife explained.

"What's that?", I asked unhappily.

"Something you won't like my dear", she winked.

Exasperated, I turned to the waiter with a bad facial expression, "Do you have anything that once belonged to a cow?", I asked.

He gave a stiff nod. "Certainly sir. We can offer you a 450-gram supreme de boeuf, incised by our own butcher from the fore flank of a corn-fed Holstein raised on our own ranch, then slow-grilled over palmetto and buffalo chips...."

"Are you describing a steak?!", I asked, perking up.

The waiter seemed stunned. "N-not a term we care to use here sir, but y-yes", he replied.

Of course. It was becoming clear now. There was a real food after all.

"I'll have that," I said. "And I'll have it with, shall I say, a depravite of potatoes, hand-cut and fried till golden in a medley of vegetable oils from the Imperial Valley, accompanied by a quantite de biere, flash-chilled in your own coolers and conveyed to my table in a cylinder of glass?".

The waiter hardly breath. "V-very good sir", he said then clicked his heels and walked away.

Naaks!hahaha...that's it...the next time you dine in a fancy European-styled restaurant, try to remember that foods in the menu are always presented in lengthy descriptions...all you have to do is just listen with those tongue-twisting terms...and never crack the menu code because it is highly improper.

The above conversation was condensed from Reader's Digest


Bonjour a tous! ^___^




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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Kerygma Conference

Attending Kerygma Conference this coming December 3, 2011 at PWC, Davao City.

This will be the second time that I will attend KCon. But last year was terrible, I did not finish the event, I went home at 11:30 am and did not return due to some resentment I felt. It was appalling to continue sitting there when deep inside something was revolting so I decided to return home before lunch time. That was pretty bad. But this year, uhmmm, I hope it would be different, I hope I can endure whatever I will going to "witness" there.

I've been a Kerygma reader since 1997 when Bo Sanchez was still single (hehe), I bought his first book published in 1999 "You Can Make Your Life Beautiful", a compilation of his "The Boss" section articles in Kerygma magazine. 

I am fascinated the way he preached and the way he reached out to people. Though charismatic is not a bonafide program of the Diocesan and my father, who is serving the Catholic church as a lay minister for more than 40 years now, is not really in favour of it since Diocesan has genuine parish programs like Family Life Apostolate and Family groupings (every Saturday), I would still prefer to spend precious time with this kind of spiritual activity than roam elsewhere.

I am very lucky to be raised up in a strict Catholic environment. I grew up accompanying my father to the church rendering his service as a lay minister, conducting "celebration of the Holy Word" (Holy Mass can be celebrated only by the priests and deacons), giving precana and prebaptism lectures and he is quite strict when it comes to Catholic church rules.

I read the blogs of Bo Sanchez from his personal site and learned so many lessons from his sharing especially during the time I was emotionally down. I hope to benefit spiritually from the upcoming KCon.

Update:

In as much as I wanted to attend KCon, it is quite impossible now because I have classes in the graduate school every Saturday from 9:00 am to 8:00 pm. Too bad



Sunday, November 6, 2011

Miss World 2011

Miss World 2011 coronation night
from left: Miss Philippines, Gwendoline Ruias, first runner-up, Miss Venezuela, Ivian Sarcos, Miss World 2011 winner and Miss Puerto Rico, Amanda Perez, second runner-up.

Miss World beauty pageant is usually held in two or three locations around South Africa and England. But this year, where the pageant celebrated its 61st year anniversary, Miss World was entirely held in Great Britain. Part of their exposure was a travel to the magnificent city of Edinburgh in Scotland, a week before the pageant. The actual pageant, November 6, was held at Earls Court Exhibition Center in London. The contest gathered 113 beautiful women around the world.

Miss World remains the only international beauty contest that the Philippines is yet to capture. While rival Asian country (when it comes to beauty titles tally), India, had already produced five Miss World title holders, Philippines still scrambled to have at least one. China won the title in 2007 through Zhang Zilin, a business administration graduate and a top fashion model, giving her country its first international beauty title ever.
Ivian Sarcos during the evening gown competition
Miss World 2010, Alexandra Mills of the United States, crowned the new Miss World

The Miss Philippines who made it closer to the crown was Evangeline Pascual in 1973 whose fate in the Miss World tilt had some brush of controversies, it was revealed that Pascual and the eventual winner, Marjorie Wallace of USA, had a close fight and almost tied in the final judging, the deciding point became something of a myth in later years when whispers came out that the crucial one point decision was awarded by an American judge to Wallace. Evangeline Pascual finished first runner-up.

One hundred and four days later, the Miss World organization announced that Marjorie Wallace would be stripped of her title due to her failure to fulfill the job required for a Miss World winner and that she would be replaced by the first runner-up, fresh from frustration and disappointment with the feeling of having been cheated in the final round, Pascual turned down the offer and did not take the Miss World crown.She could have been the first Miss World title holder from the Philippines and the East Asian region had she accepted the crown. Since then, the quest for the title became a difficult task for every Filipina who would represent the country to the Miss World contest. In 1993, Ruffa Gutierrez, went to England and Sun city, South Africa to represent the Philippines and ended up second runner-up, she was also named Queen of the Asia Pacific. After Ruffa, no Miss Philippines had landed in the top five.

Until last night, when Miss Philippines, Gwendoline Ruias, made it to the final round and declared this year's Miss World first runner-up. Ruias, the very first winner of the new beauty pageant called Miss Word Philippines, made the country very proud with her performance, it was a tough act to follow already  considering the stiff and rigid competition of the Miss World contest. The Miss World 2011 crown went to Ivian Sarcos of Venezuela, a human resource management graduate and who once aspired to become a nun. 

Ruias became the first Philippine candidate to make it closer to the crown after Evangeline Pascual in 1973. The Miss World franchise was taken by an organization headed by former Presidential granddaughter, Cory Quirino, which later formed a name Miss World Philippines, after it was stripped from the Binibining Pilipinas organization for unknown reasons.

List of this year winners:

Miss World - Miss Venezuela, Ivian Sarcos
First Runner-up - Miss Philippines, Gwendoline Ruias
Second Runner-up - Miss Puerto Rico, Amanda Perez

Winners update sources and photo credits: 
Daily Mail UK

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Global Marketing

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Wide awake at 1:00 am!^___^

Closely watching the video interviews of Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, hoping to get some important information from them on how to joggle with the intense competition in the global market. This semester, I will be taking up one of the elective subjects (global marketing) of MBA and since I'd decided to take up marketing management as a field of concentration, valuable lessons from these three world billionaires might help me a lot.

The late Steve Jobs was known for his shrewd marketing management style and so far, almost all business magazines and newspapers around the world, agreed and considered him as one of the best entrepreneurs on earth in the 21st century. Highly successful with his management and marketing techniques, Steve Jobs often left people in awe with his remarkable ingenuity, marketing strategies and the way he guided Apple Incorporated, which is considered today, no doubt, as the leader in electronic innovations. In his passing, what the world left now, is only the warm memory of his unique and one-of-a-kind business leadership.

Global marketing is one of my favorite topics in business and investment because it talks about what is the latest business trend in the international market, how it works and how everything should be managed, what's happening around the global community and how successful people, like the world billionaires I mentioned above, amassed their enormous wealth. Warren Buffet, the third richest man in the world (as of 2011), is considered to be one of the most brilliant investors in our time and he currently manages the largest investment company in the world, Berkshire Hathaway. These three people revealed what could have been the most genuine ingredients of success: Passion, Hardwork and Intuition.

I enjoyed a lot reading the remarkable stories of these people and how circumstances and opportunities helped them positioned to where they are today. Uhmmm, well, we become what we think everyday---so why not "think like a millionaire"?^___^

Meanwhile, I enjoyed watching Steve Jobs interview that I forgot the passing of time and it's now 1:30 am...ngorkk!
Steve Jobs after launching iPad in 2010. He revealed that he first conceived the idea of iPad in 2007 before iPhone but then decided to launch the iPhone first because at that time he felt people were not ready yet for a tablet


Here, Steve Jobs was being asked about the controversial privacy policy issues and the copyright issues he fiercely fought with other entities to protect Apple products

Want to know the secret? Here, Jobs revealed the secret of iPhone


Listening to the video interviews of Steve Jobs, Warren Buffet and Bill Gates is a good relief and will most likely help me cope up with the pressure of working on the possible cases and other requirements later. These three successful and formidable Chief Executive Officers, whose leadership, entrepreneural and innovation skills are considered to be the best in the world of business and investing, are ( I should be using "was" for Steve Jobs) great personalities to look up to, indeed.

Okay, it's time for me to get some sleep. Good morning (it's early dawn already!) everyone....

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Dentiste' Night Time Toothpaste and Brush

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I love Dentiste' products!

This is the best oral care brand I ever tried, so far....its toothpaste is so refreshing and cool!

Recently, I am using the toothpaste and toothbrush of Dentiste', "a global leader in premium oral care solutions" (the slogan I got from Dentiste' Plus White website ^___^).

The company has two variants of toothpaste: Night time Toothpaste and Premium Tooth-Remineralizing Paste. I used the night time toothpaste variant because it is touted to be the first and only natural night time toothpaste clinically proven to inhibit night time bacteria for a fresh morning breath. True enough, I mean this is not a pompous promotion about the product, but I really noticed my mouth's freshness and soothing odour upon waking up in the morning since using Dentiste' night time toothpaste.

It has natural extracts: xylitol and vitamin C which help protect the mouth from bad odour and bacteria.

After each use, I could feel the sweet sensation around my mouth and breath, super cool and pleasing, the scent is very mild and the taste is more like a mint cream. It feels like I just came from a dental cleaning due to its refreshing and menthol effects.

Dentiste' Plus White Night Time Toothpaste contains 14 Natural Extracts with antiseptics and antibacterials components that help prevent oral bacteria, gum diseases and bad breath.

Other extracts include:

 Xylitol - a natural sweetener found in fruits and vegetables that odour-producing bacteria cannot feed on so it helps decrease the growth of oral bacteria.


CDX (Cyclodextrin Complex) - Helps eliminate bad morning breath by trapping bad smell and prolonging fresh breath.

Silica Complex - Micronized silica complex helps get rid of plague without destroying natural tooth enamel.

Stable Vitamin C - An antioxidant that protects cells against damage and heals wounds for healthier gums.

I bought Dentiste' toothpaste with its toothbrush product because of its softness and tiny sharp edge features. This toothbrush thoroughly works effectively, eliminating small particles that stuck between teeth. It gently cleanses the teeth.

Dentiste' Plus White toothpaste and brush indeed are best choices for excellent oral care solutions. 



Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Life and Death

All Soul's Day was set by Pope Alexander IV in November 2 to commemorate the dead and to celebrate life on the other dimension. But what's with death that everyone fears?Dr. Leo Buscaglia, an Italian born American psychologist once said "Death is a friendly word because it reminds us that we don't last forever", well maybe it is.

Anyway, I would not think much about death for now, I will just think about life first and I love it. And I want to enjoy every minute of it. It calls for a celebration so I would cherish it with affection.

Now, everything is just fine. I want to believe that fate is finally cooperating. I don't know what life stores for me in the next five years but I want to make it sure that my journey will be terrific. And that's an attitude. Happiness itself is an attitude of the mind.

Peaceful and Quiet

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Oh how I wish life is always like this. 

Beautiful.Calm.Quiet.Terrific.

The soothing morning air gently rustles through the plants and I love watching the sweet sunshine rays shimmer like magical silver thread beyond the leaves of the trees. 

I woke up quite late this morning, so I bounced hastily and went downstairs then walked outside the kitchen and paused for a moment and looked up at the magnificent horizon, breathed deeply and savored the coolness of the surroundings then moved back to the kitchen sink and washed the kettle. 

I love it when the environment is peaceful and quiet. No unnecessary noise. No dragging of feet. No shouting. And I love staying in my room during holidays because it feels like I have all the freedom. Drift to sleep whenever I could, listen to soft music, write stories, update my blogs, read books and sketch stuff in my drawing pad.

Contrary to what I felt in the past about my future (where I constantly fretted why my destiny is forever welded in one corner), I understood it now and rarely asked God why. I must look forward. I must build my own dreams to create my own identity and not just rely on anchors. I must learn the value of being independent, carve my own niche and possess a sense of individualism.

I should never dwell too much on fears and what will the future look like if I would be sailing to the sunset of my life alone. This is life. And it is happening now. Fears for the future happen because people are not prepared with its downside leap, with its complexities and dark side, but the truth is, we exist alone therefore we must breath and live alone, for as long as you know where you are heading and mature enough to understand the vagueness of life then everything will just be fine.  Happiness is simply an attitude of the mind. We must acknowledge that life has many loopholes. Then learn from it, pick up the pieces and look on the brighter side of the road. 

Sometimes I would think about life in the next two years but then the foggy thought would just dissolve in the smoke of hot green tea I sip in the morning. But I love the idea of  sneaking  at "in-betweens" because anticipation brings excitement and exploring my vivid imagination is simply fulfilling: build my own e-business for party essentials and trendy lines, plan a trip to Europe and marvel at its finest and historical landmarks, stroll around the medieval villages of Greece and learn from their culture, study at least two languages, do some research, get married and have children, nurture a family and cook for dinner.

Life is good!




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Eulogy for Steve Jobs

Dr. Leo Buscaglia, a famous Italian-American writer, once said: "Death is a friendly word because it reminds us that we don't last forever".

On the occasion of All Soul's day, and to lovingly commemorate the passing of our love ones and all the people we greatly admired, here is the stunning and affectionate eulogy of Mona Simpson, sister of the late Steve Jobs, which she delivered on October 16, 2011 at his memorial service.

This Eulogy in full is taken from the official website of The New York Times

"I grew up as an only child, with a single mother. Because we were poor and because I knew my father had emigrated from Syria, I imagined he looked like Omar Sharif. I hoped he would be rich and kind and would come into our lives (and our not yet furnished apartment) and help us. 

Later, after I’d met my father, I tried to believe he’d changed his number and left no forwarding address because he was an idealistic revolutionary, plotting a new world for the Arab people.

Even as a feminist, my whole life I’d been waiting for a man to love, who could love me. For decades, I’d thought that man would be my father. When I was 25, I met that man and he was my brother.
By then, I lived in New York, where I was trying to write my first novel. I had a job at a small magazine in an office the size of a closet, with three other aspiring writers. When one day a lawyer called me — me, the middle-class girl from California who hassled the boss to buy us health insurance — and said his client was rich and famous and was my long-lost brother, the young editors went wild. 
This was 1985 and we worked at a cutting-edge literary magazine, but I’d fallen into the plot of a Dickens novel and really, we all loved those best. The lawyer refused to tell me my brother’s name and my colleagues started a betting pool. The leading candidate: John Travolta. I secretly hoped for a literary descendant of Henry James — someone more talented than I, someone brilliant without even trying.
When I met Steve, he was a guy my age in jeans, Arab- or Jewish-looking and handsomer than Omar Sharif.
We took a long walk — something, it happened, that we both liked to do. I don’t remember much of what we said that first day, only that he felt like someone I’d pick to be a friend. He explained that he worked in computers.
I didn’t know much about computers. I still worked on a manual Olivetti typewriter.
I told Steve I’d recently considered my first purchase of a computer: something called the Cromemco.
Steve told me it was a good thing I’d waited. He said he was making something that was going to be insanely beautiful.
I want to tell you a few things I learned from Steve, during three distinct periods, over the 27 years I knew him. They’re not periods of years, but of states of being. His full life. His illness. His dying.
Steve worked at what he loved. He worked really hard. Every day.
That’s incredibly simple, but true.
He was the opposite of absent-minded.
He was never embarrassed about working hard, even if the results were failures. If someone as smart as Steve wasn’t ashamed to admit trying, maybe I didn’t have to be.
When he got kicked out of Apple, things were painful. He told me about a dinner at which 500 Silicon Valley leaders met the then-sitting president. Steve hadn’t been invited.
He was hurt but he still went to work at Next. Every single day.
Novelty was not Steve’s highest value. Beauty was.
For an innovator, Steve was remarkably loyal. If he loved a shirt, he’d order 10 or 100 of them. In the Palo Alto house, there are probably enough black cotton turtlenecks for everyone in this church.
He didn’t favor trends or gimmicks. He liked people his own age.
His philosophy of aesthetics reminds me of a quote that went something like this: “Fashion is what seems beautiful now but looks ugly later; art can be ugly at first but it becomes beautiful later.”
Steve always aspired to make beautiful later.
He was willing to be misunderstood.
Uninvited to the ball, he drove the third or fourth iteration of his same black sports car to Next, where he and his team were quietly inventing the platform on which Tim Berners-Lee would write the program for the World Wide Web.
Steve was like a girl in the amount of time he spent talking about love. Love was his supreme virtue, his god of gods. He tracked and worried about the romantic lives of the people working with him.

Whenever he saw a man he thought a woman might find dashing, he called out, “Hey are you single? Do you wanna come to dinner with my sister?”
I remember when he phoned the day he met Laurene. “There’s this beautiful woman and she’s really smart and she has this dog and I’m going to marry her.”
When Reed was born, he began gushing and never stopped. He was a physical dad, with each of his children. He fretted over Lisa’s boyfriends and Erin’s travel and skirt lengths and Eve’s safety around the horses she adored.
None of us who attended Reed’s graduation party will ever forget the scene of Reed and Steve slow dancing.
His abiding love for Laurene sustained him. He believed that love happened all the time, everywhere. In that most important way, Steve was never ironic, never cynical, never pessimistic. I try to learn from that, still.
Steve had been successful at a young age, and he felt that had isolated him. Most of the choices he made from the time I knew him were designed to dissolve the walls around him. A middle-class boy from Los Altos, he fell in love with a middle-class girl from New Jersey. It was important to both of them to raise Lisa, Reed, Erin and Eve as grounded, normal children. Their house didn’t intimidate with art or polish; in fact, for many of the first years I knew Steve and Lo together, dinner was served on the grass, and sometimes consisted of just one vegetable. Lots of that one vegetable. But one. Broccoli. In season. Simply prepared. With just the right, recently snipped, herb.
Even as a young millionaire, Steve always picked me up at the airport. He’d be standing there in his jeans.
When a family member called him at work, his secretary Linetta answered, “Your dad’s in a meeting. Would you like me to interrupt him?”
When Reed insisted on dressing up as a witch every Halloween, Steve, Laurene, Erin and Eve all went wiccan.
They once embarked on a kitchen remodel; it took years. They cooked on a hotplate in the garage. The Pixar building, under construction during the same period, finished in half the time. And that was it for the Palo Alto house. The bathrooms stayed old. But — and this was a crucial distinction — it had been a great house to start with; Steve saw to that.
This is not to say that he didn’t enjoy his success: he enjoyed his success a lot, just minus a few zeros. He told me how much he loved going to the Palo Alto bike store and gleefully realizing he could afford to buy the best bike there.
And he did.
Steve was humble. Steve liked to keep learning.
Once, he told me if he’d grown up differently, he might have become a mathematician. He spoke reverently about colleges and loved walking around the Stanford campus. In the last year of his life, he studied a book of paintings by Mark Rothko, an artist he hadn’t known about before, thinking of what could inspire people on the walls of a future Apple campus.
Steve cultivated whimsy. What other C.E.O. knows the history of English and Chinese tea roses and has a favorite David Austin rose?
He had surprises tucked in all his pockets. I’ll venture that Laurene will discover treats — songs he loved, a poem he cut out and put in a drawer — even after 20 years of an exceptionally close marriage. I spoke to him every other day or so, but when I opened The New York Times and saw a feature on the company’s patents, I was still surprised and delighted to see a sketch for a perfect staircase.
With his four children, with his wife, with all of us, Steve had a lot of fun.
He treasured happiness.
Then, Steve became ill and we watched his life compress into a smaller circle. Once, he’d loved walking through Paris. He’d discovered a small handmade soba shop in Kyoto. He downhill skied gracefully. He cross-country skied clumsily. No more.

Eventually, even ordinary pleasures, like a good peach, no longer appealed to him.
Yet, what amazed me, and what I learned from his illness, was how much was still left after so much had been taken away.
I remember my brother learning to walk again, with a chair. After his liver transplant, once a day he would get up on legs that seemed too thin to bear him, arms pitched to the chair back. He’d push that chair down the Memphis hospital corridor towards the nursing station and then he’d sit down on the chair, rest, turn around and walk back again. He counted his steps and, each day, pressed a little farther.
Laurene got down on her knees and looked into his eyes.
“You can do this, Steve,” she said. His eyes widened. His lips pressed into each other.
He tried. He always, always tried, and always with love at the core of that effort. He was an intensely emotional man.
I realized during that terrifying time that Steve was not enduring the pain for himself. He set destinations: his son Reed’s graduation from high school, his daughter Erin’s trip to Kyoto, the launching of a boat he was building on which he planned to take his family around the world and where he hoped he and Laurene would someday retire.
Even ill, his taste, his discrimination and his judgment held. He went through 67 nurses before finding kindred spirits and then he completely trusted the three who stayed with him to the end. Tracy. Arturo. Elham.
One time when Steve had contracted a tenacious pneumonia his doctor forbid everything — even ice. We were in a standard I.C.U. unit. Steve, who generally disliked cutting in line or dropping his own name, confessed that this once, he’d like to be treated a little specially.
I told him: Steve, this is special treatment.
He leaned over to me, and said: “I want it to be a little more special.”
Intubated, when he couldn’t talk, he asked for a notepad. He sketched devices to hold an iPad in a hospital bed. He designed new fluid monitors and x-ray equipment. He redrew that not-quite-special-enough hospital unit. And every time his wife walked into the room, I watched his smile remake itself on his face.
For the really big, big things, you have to trust me, he wrote on his sketchpad. He looked up. You have to.
By that, he meant that we should disobey the doctors and give him a piece of ice.
None of us knows for certain how long we’ll be here. On Steve’s better days, even in the last year, he embarked upon projects and elicited promises from his friends at Apple to finish them. Some boat builders in the Netherlands have a gorgeous stainless steel hull ready to be covered with the finishing wood. His three daughters remain unmarried, his two youngest still girls, and he’d wanted to walk them down the aisle as he’d walked me the day of my wedding.
We all — in the end — die in medias res. In the middle of a story. Of many stories.
I suppose it’s not quite accurate to call the death of someone who lived with cancer for years unexpected, but Steve’s death was unexpected for us.
What I learned from my brother’s death was that character is essential: What he was, was how he died.
Tuesday morning, he called me to ask me to hurry up to Palo Alto. His tone was affectionate, dear, loving, but like someone whose luggage was already strapped onto the vehicle, who was already on the beginning of his journey, even as he was sorry, truly deeply sorry, to be leaving us.
He started his farewell and I stopped him. I said, “Wait. I’m coming. I’m in a taxi to the airport. I’ll be there.”
“I’m telling you now because I’m afraid you won’t make it on time, honey.”
When I arrived, he and his Laurene were joking together like partners who’d lived and worked together every day of their lives. He looked into his children’s eyes as if he couldn’t unlock his gaze.
Until about 2 in the afternoon, his wife could rouse him, to talk to his friends from Apple.
Then, after awhile, it was clear that he would no longer wake to us.
His breathing changed. It became severe, deliberate, purposeful. I could feel him counting his steps again, pushing farther than before.
This is what I learned: he was working at this, too. Death didn’t happen to Steve, he achieved it.
He told me, when he was saying goodbye and telling me he was sorry, so sorry we wouldn’t be able to be old together as we’d always planned, that he was going to a better place.
Dr. Fischer gave him a 50/50 chance of making it through the night.
He made it through the night, Laurene next to him on the bed sometimes jerked up when there was a longer pause between his breaths. She and I looked at each other, then he would heave a deep breath and begin again.
This had to be done. Even now, he had a stern, still handsome profile, the profile of an absolutist, a romantic. His breath indicated an arduous journey, some steep path, altitude.
He seemed to be climbing.
But with that will, that work ethic, that strength, there was also sweet Steve’s capacity for wonderment, the artist’s belief in the ideal, the still more beautiful later.
Steve’s final words, hours earlier, were monosyllables, repeated three times.
Before embarking, he’d looked at his sister Patty, then for a long time at his children, then at his life’s partner, Laurene, and then over their shoulders past them.
Steve’s final words were:
OH WOW. OH WOW. OH WOW".
Mona Simpson, biological sister of Steve Jobs. She is a novelist and a professor of English at the University of California, Los Angeles.She delivered the above eulogy for her brother on October 16 at his memorial service at the Memorial Church of Stanford University.
Know Steve Jobs better. Find out the real story of his success and how he partly changed the world because of his ingenuity and innovation. This book is available now at Amazon

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