Sunday, January 23, 2011

In deep trouble

I am on the brink of losing my composure with so many anxieties.

Anxiety # 1
I am still struggling how to comprehend better my report about Marketing Myopia, a famous journal of a Harvard University professor, Theodore Levitt. This journal was so popular in 1960 and groundbreaking in terms of marketing strategies that I am so worried I would not be able to live with the expectation of my professor and my classmates!huhu

Since I will present my critique to the class, my nerve rambles underneath as the day comes nearer and still couldn’t make up my mind how to do it. What if I messed up in front of them? Oh God no please!

Anxiety # 2
I don’t know what is it, what disturbing me right now, but it seems there’s something deep inside that keeps banging me which makes my heart pound so fast it feels as though my ribcage is ready to yield. But I could feel this very strange thumping that I frequently breathe to release whatever tension suppressing my brain to think better. What is it? I don’t know God, but it seems there’s something wrong with my emotion. I just can’t figure it out though.

Anxiety # 3
So many requirements, so many task to accomplish. But this is the real life in the graduate school, so I must accept this fact, nevertheless, the megawatt requirements gave me so many sleepless nights, pounds of worries and ounces of anxieties. How would I fit all these tasks in my already incoherent schedule? When I am in the office, the agony and annoyance seem like eternity. I could not breathe and think properly. Sometimes I hate the surroundings but it’s the only place I could turn too at the moment when I am still thinking what career path to think, so I must endure this severe irritation of being in a place where my mind refused to accept as a “convenient place for professional growth”

I will find my own niche somewhere someday.

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